Time to take a break from these exciting entries on Vancouver construction (though we'll get back to that) and do some Beijing wrap-up before Gossip Girl comes back on television and everyone forgets the Olympics ever happened.
Right now, of course, it's still a good time to be an Olympian. Phelps is hosting SNL. Nastia is starring in a terrible movie. Bolt is running for cash, while Shawn-John is running for President. All power to them---they deserve every moment of fame they get. But this entry is about the real star of the Games...
The thrill of victory, the agony of the tiebreaker. (AP)
...He Kexin. What other athlete has gone so awesomely off the Olympic script and gotten away with it? Here's how HKX managed to smash conventional wisdom during her week of glory:
She beat the rules. Conventional wisdom says cheaters never win, even if cheating isn't cheating at all (just ask Andreea Raducan). And going into the Games, it was the world's worst-kept secret that He-r paperwork didn't match. Then the New York Times caught on and the story got wings. Then people saw the perpetually terrified (though actually of-age) Deng Linlin on TV and screamed that she had baby teeth, and weighed less than Michael Phelps's breakfast, and was probably padding her leotard to make it look like she had curves. And then China won the team gold, and still the age thing was all anyone in the U.S. could talk about. Newspapers ran big closeups of the girls' little faces. Al Trautwig said incriminatingly, "Judge for yourself: IS SHE 16?" about 600 times. Hackers protested.
And then ... nothing happened. Rogge checked out the paperwork and shrugged. The investigation continues, but in the bureaucratic sense only.
She gamed the rules. Conventional wisdom says Americans always get the benefit of the doubt (just ask Paul Hamm). And going into the uneven bars finals, the matchup as it played out in the U.S. was between Nastia, all-American sweetheart (or Russian princess of privileged stock, pick your storyline) vs. the dirty, underhanded Chinese. The stage was set for another American triumph over totalitarianism and corruption.
But not only did s-He win, she dared to do it in the most infuriating way possible---by a technicality. She tied for the gold, then proceeded to win sole possession on the basis of an unapologetically, blatantly arbitrary tiebreaking rule---she had a 9.1 and an 8.9 where Nastia had two 9.0s. The Karolyis seethed, but there was nothing they could do---she had won strictly by the rules, unless you count the fact that she was competing at all.
She flouted the rules. The first piece of conventional wisdom here is that cheaters don't really deserve to win. But this cartoon says it all: who can really protest losing to a baby who's flat-out better than you? It's like arguing that you really should have won the bike race because the winner was pedaling with training wheels.
The second piece of conventional wisdom is that the age rule is for the athletes' own good. These underage girls are victims, they're abused, they're forced child laborers, they're mindless baby puppets. (Ex: Yang Yilin after the all-around.) But s-He had the audacity not only to win controversially, but to enjoy every second of it. She giggled and pranced around the sidelines. She kept a blog where she referred to herself as the "queen of the uneven bars." After Yang turned in a superior but overlooked performance, s-He picked up her shrinking-violet teammate and presented her to the crowd so Yang could wave from their combined altitude of 5'0".
Mrmph, there's glitter in my mouth. (NBC)
And when s-He stood on the podium with the gold, pumpkin-shaped face beaming, and Trautwig sniffed, "Does He Kexin really think she won the gold?" Daggett could only say, "You know what, I think she does."
Golden. (AP/Getty)
